ok... before i get too self-congratulatory on my child's spiritual awareness... today he said that when he grew up he wanted to be a builder and that it's very important to be a builder because he has to get lot's of wood and build a big church so that God can come and worship us.

he's got a the right pieces... just put together a bit wrong. :)

having a rough day. very depressed. christopher, my brother, came over to keep me company and just generally go through my day with me. i have good brothers.

tonight emerson and i read a story about listening to God. afterwards i encouraged him to pray and ask God to speak to him. he was quiet for a second and then he opened his eyes and looked up and said, "he said he loves me." :)

yesterday we were driving to preschool and julian was crying. emerson said, "it's okay little brother. there are no monsters in here." then he thoughtfully added..."mommy, we have a monster living in our house though." "oh yeah?" i said. "yeah... his name is jt." :)

i love him somethin' awful.

today i had a hard day. i want to go to sleep for a long time. i want to push the pause button on life and just take a break for a while.
i'm very tired in every way imaginable.
but...
emerson is asleep here beside me and he fell asleep against my shoulder soon after whispering..."mommy?, snuggle...." and i am so blessed.
and i keep thinking about today at my mom and dad's house when emerson and julian and i walked down to the pond to see the ducks... and the way the sun hit the water made it look glittery and sparkling. it really looked like the water was sending up bursts of golden,dancing light. in that moment, still so in touch with my pain and weariness, i knew that life was good. thought about how there is still something intrinsic about life that makes me want to embrace it and suck all the marrow out of it. there is something rich that has not disappeared in spite of my circumstances and every so often, that essence of life breaks through and speaks hope to me.

so... i'm running a men's dormitory. :)

just kidding... sort of.

i was having trouble making ends meet. so i rented out rooms in my house. now, i have three young single guys living here. jt (my brother), justin (my cousin) and shaun (their friend). and it's very strange to have them all here even though i don't see much of them. their evenings start after i am already sound asleep. i love them all dearly and want to mother them all to death but i refrain. mostly.

ok... goodnight for now. (i have road runner now so you'll be hearing from me more.)

had movie night tonight with emerson. we do it every weekend. we go to the library, check out a video, get popcorn, soda (sparkling juice) and cookies and we put julian to bed and stay up late snuggled up on the couch. tonight it was shrek and we both enjoyed it.

emerson has totally floored me so many times today.

driving home from the library this afternoon, he looked over at his six month old brother and said, "julian, you're the man." :)

i love these boys.

julian is getting his first tooth and he is really grouchy. that includes the wee hours of the morning... so i should sign off. i'm going to post a pics before i go to sleep.

good night.