ok.

ok.

the dust is settling now. (looks around cautiously. inhales. pause. slow exhalation. shoulders slump. smile gradually spreads across face.)

i think... i think... i'm happy again. at least i feel happy again. still tired. still overwhelmed. but happy.

plates still spinning. sometimes crashing down in pieces all around me. but not the important ones. i've got the expensive rare china spinning fast and steady but the cheap garage sale plates are in pieces and it's okay.

sometimes i think in these terms. i get up in the morning. put on a load of laundry and think. laundry plate: spinning! look at the sink full of dirty dishes spilling onto the counter and think... dishes plate: crashed to the ground. hey... a girl can only do so much.

the last three months have been hard. this little reprieve is welcome.

i know it'll get hard again. (in fact... chris leaves for new york tomorrow and will be gone for a week.) but for now the world is filled with light. i think i'll soak it up.

okay... well... the babies are asleep and emerson is waiting for me to come to his imaginary pet store and make a purchase. better go buy a pet.