today i had a hard day. i want to go to sleep for a long time. i want to push the pause button on life and just take a break for a while.
i'm very tired in every way imaginable.
but...
emerson is asleep here beside me and he fell asleep against my shoulder soon after whispering..."mommy?, snuggle...." and i am so blessed.
and i keep thinking about today at my mom and dad's house when emerson and julian and i walked down to the pond to see the ducks... and the way the sun hit the water made it look glittery and sparkling. it really looked like the water was sending up bursts of golden,dancing light. in that moment, still so in touch with my pain and weariness, i knew that life was good. thought about how there is still something intrinsic about life that makes me want to embrace it and suck all the marrow out of it. there is something rich that has not disappeared in spite of my circumstances and every so often, that essence of life breaks through and speaks hope to me.

so... i'm running a men's dormitory. :)

just kidding... sort of.

i was having trouble making ends meet. so i rented out rooms in my house. now, i have three young single guys living here. jt (my brother), justin (my cousin) and shaun (their friend). and it's very strange to have them all here even though i don't see much of them. their evenings start after i am already sound asleep. i love them all dearly and want to mother them all to death but i refrain. mostly.

ok... goodnight for now. (i have road runner now so you'll be hearing from me more.)