thank you to all of you again. i can feel your prayers and they are not in vain. i am being carried by their power. i deeply believe this. please don't stop praying.

i may not respond to each and every one of you individually... but know that every comment and email is deeply appreciated and encouraging.

emerson brings so much joy to my life. in the beginning of this trial... i must admit that he felt like a weight. something in the way of me staying in bed all day and nursing my wounds. but God is smart... i might not have had impetus enough to recover were it not for him. and now i find that every day even in the midst of grief, emerson brings light and breeze.

last night when i got into bed to lay down with him, he opened his arms wide and said... "come here mama." he then embraced me and said... "sooooo much!" and squeezed the sadness out of me. he repeated..."me love you so much." i love that boy.

i am also in awe of my god. he is so good to me. he sustains me. there have been many a night where he was the one to say... "come here chelsea.".... and wrap his arms around me repeating... "so much!" i don't ever want to let him go. but i'm strangely aware that it depends much more on him never wanting to let me go. please hold on tight to me Jesus.